Friday Funny joke in ... - GoFrnzy.com

Friday Funny joke in ...

Friday Funny joke in ...

speech of new girl

A newly wed girl was being welcomed at the husband’s home in a traditional manner.

She was asked to give a little speech. She addressed as follows:

“My dear family members, I thank you for welcoming me in my new home and family”, she said “Firstly, with my presence I would not want to create any inconveniences by my being here. I mean that I don’t want you all to change your way of life, your routine.”



“What do you mean my child?” asked the patriarch of the family.

What I mean dad is:

Those who used to wash dishes must carry on washing them.
Those who used to do the laundry must carry on doing it.
Those who cooked shouldn’t stop on my account.
Those who used to clean should clean.

As for me, I am here just to control your son!

dump kid

 A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his Customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”

The barber puts a dollar in one hand and two quarters in the other,

then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?”

The boy takes the quarters and leaves.



“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar?”

The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game’s over!”

bad conductor

 A man is working on the buses in the US collecting tickets.

He rings the bell for the driver to set off when there’s a woman half getting on the bus. The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is killed. At the trial the man is sent down for murder and seeing as it’s Texas he’s sent to the electric chair.

On the day of his execution he’s sat in the chair and the executioner grants him a final wish.



“Well” says the man, “Is that your packed lunch over there?” “Yes” answers the executioner. “Can I have that green banana?”

Funny Furneal

The dead body was very tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no space left in it when they opened the lid they found a letter on top addressed to her brothers and sisters:

Dear Chandrakantbhai, Arvindbhai, Smitaben and Varsha,



I am sending mothers body to you, since it was her wish that she should be cremated in the compound of our ancestral home.

Sorry, I could not come along as all of my paid leave is consumed.

You will find inside the coffin, under her body, cans of cheese, 10 packets of Tobler chocolates and 8 packets of Badam (peanuts) please divide these among all of you.

On her feet you will find a new pair of Reebok shoes (size 10) for Mohan. There are also 2 pairs of shoes for Radha’s and Lakshmi’s sons. Hope the sizes are correct.

She(dead mother) is wearing 6 American T-Shirts. The large size is for Mohan.

Just distribute the rest among yourselves.

The 2 new Jeans that she is wearing are for the boys. The Swiss watch that Reema wanted is on her left wrist.

Shanta masi, she is wearing the necklace, earrings and ring that you asked for. Please take them off her.

The 6 white cotton socks she is wearing must be divided among my nephews. Please distribute all these fairly.

PS : If anything more required let me know soon as Bapuji is also not feeling too well now a days..

BOSS

A boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect.

Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read, “I’m the Boss”.



He then taped it to his office door.

Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said. “Your wife called, She wants her sign back!”

GIFTS

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting together for Christmas, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.

The first said, “I built a big house for our mother.”

The second said, “I sent her a Mercedes.”



The third smiled and said, “I’ve got you both beat. You remember how mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can’t see very well. So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He’s one of a kind. Mom just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it.”

Soon thereafter, mom sent out her letters of thanks:

“Dear Milton,” she wrote one son, “The house you built is too huge. I live in only one room, but I have to keep the whole house clean!”

“Dear Gerald,” she wrote to another, “I am too old to travel. I stay at home most of the time, so I rarely use the Mercedes.”

“Dearest Donald,” she wrote to her third son, “You have the good sense to know what your Mother likes. The chicken was Dee-licious!”

TEST

Once a husband put some urine in a bottle to take to doctor as doctor has given his urine test. But he forgot to take the bottle and left for office. By this time wife saw the bottle and she thought may be some water in the bottle she washed and keep it.

After sometimes husband telephoned her that I forgot to bring the bottle of urine, so I am right now coming home to take the bottle.



Pregnant wife afraid and to avoid scolding she has taken her urine in the same bottle and keep it for his husband. When the man take the bottle to the doctor after urine test doctor told that “You are pregnant”.

The husband came to home and told to wife “I told you not to come top, now doctor is telling that “I am pregnent”.

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